Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Ball of Clay

This is thought connection, you know. And basically, it is my thoughts. Duh!! Yes, I do have some!

Well, the past few days I have had my thoughts on marriage. You see, Gloria decided, and I agree, that when they come to Florida, hopefully this winter, we will celebrate our 45ths together. Larry and Gloria celebrated their's Sunday and we had ours July 17th. So that is where it all began, I guess. (And yes, my friend in Texas Terry of course, just had to remind me that we have been married just ten years under how old she is!!) I do need to remind you all that Gloria and I got married VERY young!! LOL

Anyway, I am around so many people who just don't get along with their spouses and it makes me so sad. It really does. But I think part of it is they don't understand what happens when you get married. You really are not the same person, only unto yourself anymore.

That is when I thought of the ball of clay. When Jim married someone...well, he married me, but when he married someone else...I mean...did a marriage for two other people, I guess I should say, he took two pieces or blocks of kid's clay. One that green color and one pink. I liked the green but then the pink wasn't bad, either.

He said one was the woman and one the man. In that case I should have been the pink I guess, but still, I wanted to be the green. He really didn't even ask or care!! Argh!! But I like to really get into his stories!!! Much more fun that way. It's OK. He understands me!!

He took the two and started to put them together. He would work them and work them. Everyone was watching. Looked like fun.

And as he was working them together he said something to this effect. These represent the bride and groom in a marriage. They each start out as one person. In this example, one green and one pink. Each with their own likes and dislikes, their own agendas, responsibilities only to themselves. They were basically pretty self centered. Life and it's agendas pretty much have centered around only them for a very long time.

And as they spend their lives together they start to mix all these things together. Can you see how there really is no green by itself or pink by itself? That, my friends, it what is to happen in marriage.

Look closely. He held out the ball of clay. If you look, you still see streaks of pink and streaks of green. You are both still there. You haven't given up being you...your own identity. You are still you but you are intermingled with the other forming ONE ball of a beautiful marble color. That is marriage. You are still there with your own likes and agendas, but now the two of you have formed a new color, a beautiful blend of both of you, creating new agendas, likes and dislikes together.

Isn't that wonderful? I think it is.

As we were on the way to lunch today we were talking about this and I said you know, I see it going even a little farther. Maybe that is why it is so hard when people for one reason or another have to separate. It would be pretty darn hard to separate that pink from the green. I think no matter how hard you tried you would still have bits and pieces of the other that you take away from the relationship. That could change the whole chemistry of who you are. No wonder so many people struggle so hard after a divorce. You really can't be the same person as when  you went into that relationship. So all of a sudden you have to learn the new you!! Bet it is hard!!

***I came back tonight after work to add this. I was telling Jim about this blog and he said, but after many years of working the clay, after a very long time, it takes on a color of its own. One where you and your spouse do really become one with same likes, dislikes, agendas. You no longer see the green and the pink but that brand new color, where you both really tend to see things and want things exactly the same. Two people have melded into one. That is when marriage becomes really beautiful!***

Well, that is my thought for today. I really had been thinking about that and wanted to blog it.

It is still rainy here. We have that whatever they are calling it...tropical depression 5 out in the gulf so we are picking up lots of rain. Trying to send it Terry's way but not having much luck. I heard this week that you can tell if you are a Floridian if you are on a first name basis with the tropical storms and hurricanes!! LOL Like when Charley came through...LOL. But it is true. We always call them by name like they were personal friends!!

Going to see if Jim can organize my digi scraps for me tonight, I think, Not knowing how ACDSee works it might just be a bit too much...but I sure am going to give it a try. I hate doing that and it really needs to get done.

Click for larger view

Oh, I finished another LO for the Ohio album. It is of the three daughters. They are the prettiest girls. Hope you like it.

Since I blabbed on so much about a ball of clay I had better go. Just thought I would share that ball of clay story with you. Never know when you will need a good conversation starter!! LOL What? Sometimes I will grab at anything rather than sit there in that dead silence when no one has anything to say. Picture this...dead silence and you say...Did you ever think about marriage as a ball of clay?? Now I am sure that will start the conversation off FAST!! LOL

LOL Have a good night!! LOL I'm out of here.


Melissa said...

Oh, what a beautiful story. Thanks so much for sharing it!

And what a lovely LO. The quote fits so well, and I just love the stars swirling around the pictures. I also love that their poses are alike!

Demented said...

Great post! Problem with clay is that when it is left out on its own, it becomes hard and useless....what??? just sayin...LOL.

Love the layout!

Terry said...

heavy thoughts here today. Great LO.

Serene said...

I enjoyed reading that, Barb. Very nice story. Sweet lo, too. I just love visiting your blog because I always come away smiling. Thanks!

Sondra said...

Loved the clay story. Maybe that is the problem today... not enough couples get thoroughly mixed, so seperating is so easy???

Or maybe they don't have enough STUFF? My thought is that by the time I spent a whole week packing up my nonsense, I would have forgotten why I was mad in the first place!!! And he has even MORE stuff!!!

Like the layout.... especially that brown swoosh across the page!

Miss you, Chickie! Hugs and Kisses... Momma Hen

Kathi said...

What a wonderful illustration! I love that you've enhanced the story over the years. It is such a brilliant analogy, especially that a great marriage produces a whole different color, one that is impossible to separate.

I so enjoy visiting your thoughts!

Lisa said...

Wonderful story. By golly I think you may just be on to something here!
Ya know, I understand you perfectly... that might be a little scary! What's more is I agree with what you say! You are a beauty and I so enjoy your blog.
Love the layout!

Kathleen Summers said...

Great analogy. And happy 45th anniversary! Ron and I have been married 16 years and I know I already feel that one-ness. And I'm so thankful to have a husband how I love AND like. A blessings to be sure. Glad to hear of your healthy marriage!

Love that LO of the girls, Barb.